If there is one thing in this world, which makes it so unfair, it is that it only takes one mistake to turn anything and everything obsolete.

Why did it have to be like that? Why could not it be simple and straightforward? Simple like if it takes a 100 years to build something, it should also take 100 years to unbuild it. Why is it that destruction takes only a matter of moments? It is so unfair.

Imagine a world where creation'' time is the same as thedestruction’’ time. You can be assured that if you build something for years, it would also last for years. Of course, this is not valid for humans. Because a human is created only in nine months and death can take significantly less time.

There is something asymmetric here. One case already mentioned before is if something takes long to build, but gets destroyed in mere moments. The other asymmetric case is if something takes moments to be build, but requires long time to destroy. Let the former be case(i) and the latter case(ii).

Case(i) is the most unfair of them all. Case(ii) would only be a nuisance if the quantity of the produced entity is not managed, and it would be a much greater threat if there are some side-effects. Radioactive waste is a prime example of case(ii) when the produced entity has side-effects. Although the radioactive process is faily quick, the produced radioactive waste takes thousands of years to disintegrate completely.

The burden of that one mistake must be carried until the debt is paid. How so unfair. Even more so when the mistake was a honest mistake. Damage done was unintentional. How could i just be better? or strive to be better. When everything has gone to dust.

Imagine a smudge. So dark and stubborn that would never wipe out. The only person who could forgive you would never want to talk to you. If the act of asking for forgivance, in itself, is damaging. Who could forgive you then? Souls beyond redemption. Where do these souls end up? Would even the saintest of the souls ever take pity on you? So unfair.

All i am doing is collecting these smudges. Why am i hurting others so much? It is not intentional. However, the consequences of actions stay with me. So unfair. So unjust of a world. Is this a child’s rant about how unfair the world is. i will go away. run away from here. go so far away. to where all the damaged souls go. souls which can only repent. hopelessly repent. when the smudges never fade. where the act of removing the smudge further smudges. can i cut it out? to remove the smudges. and just throw it away. far away from me. maybe bury in the ground. put it in a box and throw it in the Rhine. so that nothing would come back to me. so that something can take its place. broken things never get fixed. i can only be sorry i broke you. but can i fix it? i can fix it. i am sorry i had only said i didn’t know how to fix it first. but i did say i want to fix it. i also want to ask for your forgivance. some souls are beyond salvation. please do not let this soul be one. you would never come back to me. you would never look at me. i see you in my dreams and you see me in your nightmares. where did i go wrong? i loved you. my heart knows it sure did. then how did i ended up hurting you so bad? i deserve every gram of your hate. if you could give me another chance, i would keep you closer than my heart. if not another chance, i beg for your forgivance. if not your forgivance, i do not how to live. i cannot move on. how could i move on? if i moved on too soon, it would mean, i did not love you enough. and i love you a lot. how disappointed i am at myself. you said we are completely broken. i guess we are. i am broken into two parts. one still madly in love with you. and the other refusing to move on. oh how painful it feels. to hear that we are completely broken when i love you so much. if i can turn back time, and fix that mistake, i would do it.